Nice Things

Recently, I was meandering around the home furnishings section of a local department store when I overheard one woman say to another, “Oh, I’m going to pick this up for Eleanor…she has such nice things!”

I could feel a sarcastic smirk appear across my face as I began to imagine what qualities a “thing” might possess in order for it to be described as “nice.”  I envisioned Eleanor’s nice things smiling cordially at one another on the mantle.  I visualized her nice knickknacks exchanging courteous comments from their temporary residences on the coffee table.  I imagined overhearing the compliments her nice things bestowed upon each other from within the drawers of her jewelry box.  I wondered if her nice dinner candles said “pardon me” to the nice candlesticks when their wax overflowed or if her nice lamps used “please and thank you” when requesting new bulbs.

I briefly recalled the scene from Beauty and the Beast where the candelabra, Lumiere,  the pendulum clock, Cogsworth and Mrs, Potts, the kindhearted teapot, danced merrily around the room with the other “nice” things that resided in the castle.

I thought how Eleanor’s friends and family must admire the manners she’d instilled into these items since purchasing them and bringing them home.  After all, they were all so nice.

Among a slew of synonyms listed under the word nice, I found: “courteous, amiable, pleasant, kind and polite.”  I paused to ask myself, at what point did it become possible that a tangible, non-living organism could aptly be described using any of these words?  Attractive?  Yes.  Shiny?  Sure.  Appealing?  Uh huh.  But, nice?  Not so much.

I believe it stems from our obsession with possessions, which I assert began right around the time we started referring to objects, belongings and even vehicles as “nice.”  At that time, we allowed them to cross over the invisible “things” boundary and enter our lives as something more…something that we would inevitable attach our emotions to, thereby escalating their value to that which is more than merely monetary.

Maybe “they” did this intentionally!  Maybe “they” are in cahoots with the insurance companies in a “Desire to Acquire” conspiracy!  After all, the more we own, the more we must insure, right?  Perhaps, if these items indeed have the ability to be nice, they might very well possess the capabilities to be cunning and conniving, as well.

Let’s face it; the word nice when used in this form or fashion can most often be substituted with either of the words, expensive or valuable.  Nice things is but a convenient phrase used in lieu of saying: “Eleanor has spent a lot of money on her possessions…”  It’s a phrase synonymous with having money, having wealth, and owning items of value.

“She lives in a nice home.”  “She drives a nice car.”  “She has nice things.”  All of these, when honestly translated, mean that Eleanor is pretty well-off financially.  After all, her home could be downright obstinate, her car might interrupt conversations and belch in public and her things could be offensive and ill-mannered, but if they were pricey and can be envied by friends and neighbors, they’re usually dubbed, “nice,” regardless.

Furthermore, I’ve often found it curious that people refer to a tangible item as “holding” memories.  Really?  Where?  Memories aren’t held by any particular object.  They are held in our minds.  We alone keep them safe.  We alone bring them to the forefront and relive them at will.  We alone “hold” them.  Granted, a specific object from our past might spark recollections of bygone days, but things are things.  They are made of disposable materials.  They have no feelings.  They have no heart.  They are not nice.

Grandma’s vase and Aunt Felicia’s chipped china plates are things.  They once served their purpose in someone’s life, yet we tend to treasure and cherish them as if they have literally recreated within themselves, the aura, attributes and qualities of their previous owners. 

If you were to choose the top ten blessings that are present in your life right now, what would you choose?  For argument’s sake, let’s say that these ten items, whether tangible or intangible, people, relationships or friendships are the only possessions you’ll be able to keep in your life from this point forward.  Hopefully, not many things made it to your list, if any…not even the “nice” ones.

I used to work with a woman who, though reasonably kind and considerate, placed far too much emphasis on her physical belongings.  It seemed to most everyone who knew her for more than 30 minutes that her main objective in life was to constantly acquire more…more expensive cars, bigger houses, better jewelry.  She truly found, what I considered, a distorted happiness in her acquisitions.  Whenever somone in the office would have a birthday or anniversary approaching and had planned to celebrate that evening, upon their return to the office the next morning, she’d immediately approach hurling her familiar inquiry:  “What’d ya get?”  After a while, it became the catch phrase used around the office mocking her materialistic attitude.  It became a routine that after the winter holidays, after President’s Day, Labor Day, New Year’s or Box Day in Canada, we’d jokingly ask each other, “What’d ya get?”

I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with partially equating success with that which we purchase, own and appreciate.  It is nice to have and enjoy the extra amenities hard work may afford us.  However, to me, it’s all about how much emphasis we place on the value of these items and the percentage they contribute to our true happiness.  I maintain the belief that what should be considered most precious and what is truly invaluable in our lives is that which we cannot purchase.  “The best things in life are free” is one of the most overused, yet sincere, morally correct clichés’ ever spoken.  But, one of my favorite quotes remains: “Measure wealth not by what you have, but by what you have and would not sell.”  This theory would make us all equal millionaires.  

If you have that constant desire to acquire more than you require, ask yourself, why?  Is it to validate yourself by using your purchases to exhibit to others that you’ve become a successful individual?  Is it to bring attention to yourself?  Is it to satisfy an unidentified void in your life?  Do you truly believe that obtaining more and more things will bring you happiness?  Is it greed?  When does it stop — doesn’t obtaining more things only make you want more things?  This type of shallow satisfaction is indeed, transient.  Familiarity may breed contempt, but I believe it also breeds dissatisfaction.  We become used to things rather quickly and therefore, want to experience the “new” again.  It is only when we are able to recognize and clearly foresee this inevitable familiarity cycle that we can break our addiction to the “new.”

I’m reminded of the phrase, “He who dies with the most toys wins…”  The time we have on earth is precious.  Things aren’t.  The love we share is invaluable.  Things aren’t.  The laughter we exchange is spontaneous.  Things aren’t.  What we leave behind in the hearts and minds of others is that by which we are truly remembered.  Things aren’t.  Life is nice.  Things aren’t.

Linda Ellis
Copyright 2010
www.lindaellis.net